Since the age of fifteen years old when I started my first menses it was always irregular, skipping months and years with no bleeding. I went to Western Doctors and received test to find my hormones were all at the proper level. They told me I would have to be on birth control the rest of my life to regulate my cycles. I took the birth control for a few weeks and had so many side effects. This is when I chose to seek out alternative methods to nourish and transform the root of the problem. It was a twenty one year journey of looking at the physical, emotional and ancestral layers that were causing the imbalance, peeling away one layer at a time.
One and a half years ago I went to India, listening to my innate wisdom to bring my cycles into harmony with my higher wisdom. I embarked upon a thirty day Panchakarma, which is a series of therapies specific to your constitution that incorporate all aspects of healing spiritual, cellular, karmic, physical and strengthening the life force. The second day upon my arrival I started my moon cycle out of the blue, during this time we had to stop therapies until I was done bleeding. At this time my Ayurvedic Doctor informed me that for three days I was not allowed to do anything except just be in the beauty of my moon time. In parts of India the woman do not cook or work during the first three days of their moon time. I knew this would be my biggest challenge as I explained to him that "I usually feel so much energy when I start bleeding and tend to work harder during this time of the month. He looked at me with a grin and said "its good to look at how much of this story is in your mind?" I was quiet and reflected on his statement for three days. And he was correct! the conditioning and stories I created around my cycle were deeply embedded in how I perceived women and I was able to see how It was another way I repressed my femininity and by working harder I could mask my creative wisdom that would come through during this time, I always felt it was a sense of weakness in my body to not be able to show up and perform, so my masculine energy would be on overdrive creating a false energy so I could power through. This was creating a fierce, aggressive, masculine energy in my womb. There has been lifetimes of unraveling these stories but by sharing my story I hope to help and shed light to the process of birth we go through every month. Since I left India I have been having 25-28 day cycles every month and I love when the sacred window opens, the light becomes clear and the softness washes over me, but we must allow it.
I am living in Peru writing this three days into my moon cycle, writing from a inward space, writing to send light to those who are needing or wanting support during this sacred time we get to experience in a women's body. If we dont bleed each month then it means we are not healthy and this can lead to early stages of diabetes. PMS is not normal, pain is not normal, all the symptoms we have been told we get during our cycle is not normal. All imbalances can be reversed, it takes time and dedication. What is normal is to take the time to create your own red tent, cave or space to reflect. The two days before you bleed and first three days of bleeding are very sacred and crucial for women. When a women allows her life to flow around her cycles then the time and space will open like a beautiful flower blossom, the sacred window will start flourishing. When I left India I committed to the fire and myself to always take two-three days to rest, by doing this I was able to stop resisting the flow of life, then my schedule naturally became lighter around my moon time. It's a gift to go inward and not be out in the world using energy in a masculine way. This potent energy is needed to access our creativity, to listen to our dreams, sing, be playful, lay in the sun, take flower baths and journal. This creative energy can be the vessel to formulate and write down new ideas or projects. A time to envision what you want in your life. My life has completely changed once I softened into the process of resting and it never came easy, I resisted my inner rhythms for half my life and now I know how crucial the sacred window is for guiding my life and if I don't take the space to listen then the clarity usually does not arrive for me and I feel overwhelmed with simple task.
What a blessing it is to be given a time when the veils are thin, if we allow it then we can all access this potent power that resides in all of us. This is how we can reclaim our power as women to heal the shame, to heal the guilt, to stop apologizing for all the blood we offer every month.
Have you ever observed that your dreams are more vivid and clear before your moon time or during? listen deeply.
Do you feel more open and sensitive to other energies during this time?
This is your intuition giving you messages to listen deeper, your innate wisdom.
What can you shift in your life to allow time for the wisdom to be channeled?
Have you ever thought your sensitivity and wanting to be inward is a weakness? this is your intuition
Listen to the fire within.